Christmas Family Get Togethers

So, it's Christmas time. Part of most family traditions is to get a group of people connected by DNA or marriage that have made distinctive choices not spend time around each other (Some have moved states away) for an entire year or so, and gather them all in the same room for an entire day (or weekend) to 'celebrate' Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, and family, but sometimes the combining of the two can be - crazy.

Some thoughts on what I've "heard" about;

Family members who tell the same story over and over again,

Family members who railroad a discussion about one topic into a story that "you all can relate to," but they can't,

Kids who translate "Don't touch," into "Touch everything you can get your hands on,"

Kids who already know what they're going to get, because they have told, emailed and Facebook reminded the entire family over and over, so the "surprise," of opening presents now becomes checking off a checklist in their mind,

The unspoken, "Who farted?" game,

The doggie "presents" left on Christmas day,

The kitty regurgitated "presents" shown (in front of everyone) on Christmas day,

If you are single, and bring a significant other, the kids start to ask, "So, are you having sex? Mom says you must be. What's it like?"

I could go on, what have you experienced?