Saturday, August 21, 2010

Eco-Friendly bag sayings

With all the eco-friendly bags being used, I figured I'd toss out some sayings that might go good on them. Whole Foods, I'm looking at you, and only want 50% of your profit.

Eco-Friendly Bag Sayings
"Wanna come over, watch Food Inc, and make out?"
"I am Vegan, hear me roar. Environmentally friendly, of course"
"Where's the Beef? I don't care"
"I'm part Vegan. Guess which part."
"I'm single. Let's pitch some woo, near the Tofu"
"My carbon footprint is small, and wears high heels"
"McDonald's hates me right now."
"This used to be a wedding gift that I hated. Deal"
"Locally Grown. ;)"

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Women remember everything. I mean everything. Their minds are like huge computers in an attractive body. Women remember dates, times, places, situations and the words people say. Boy, do they remember words guys say (especially husbands).

Guys have you ever heard, "Do you know what she said to me?" That is usually the beginning of a long tirade-laden saga about all the times (full explanations included) your lady helped out this gal, and all the times this gal stabbed her in the back, hurt her, etc, and how this comment (which to you wouldn't be a big deal, but based on the female karmic scale was the worst thing ever) made her feel. Guys, don't say anything, just listen. Like you would at a Timeshare presentation for free tickets to a Vegas show.

Guys, have you ever used the wrong words around women? Yup, me too. The bad thing is that ladies will remember the wrong words a looooooong time.

Women remember dates amazingly. My wife (I would say most ladies) for example, is a human date memory bank. She remembers the date of our first date, first kiss, first time I called her my first wife's name (Ha! That's never happened. Never).

When Colleen and I got married, we got married on 9/11/99. At that point, she joked, "If you forget our anniversary, that's the number they will call," so that was fun, and then the saddest day in American history happened. Needless to say, I will never forget our Anniversary date.

Guys can't remember much of anything. Post-it notes are a god send for guys, but then computer monitors become expensive Post-it Note posting frames. Men still forget, because they can't carry the monitors around. Sure, they could type in notes on their Smartphones, but they're too busy checking Facebook.

What is your experience with Memory?