Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Difference between Men and Women #79 - Time

It's 'Time' to Set the Record Straight

(Many Women in My Life) say “Come on, let’s go,” so I go outside and wait by the car. I keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Finally I feel like I’m on Punk’d, and go back inside, and the (Woman I am referencing this example for) is on the phone talking to (The female that we are on our way to see), so I say “Let’s Go,” I get a scowl from the woman, and then she says, “We’re leaving right now”.

Leaving right now.

Leaving – right – now.

I (and I humbly suggest most guys) hear, “We are leaving right this moment, I mean right now, this absolute millisecond,” unfortunately that not what it means to a woman (imho).

I believe when a woman says, “Come on, we are leaving right now,” it really means, “Hey, goofy guy. You stop what you are doing that’s fun, and get out of the house, because I have about 30 minutes more of running around here doing stuff that I don’t want you to see, so I want YOU to be ready when I *really* am ready to leave”.

Seriously, look out your window on a holiday and see how many men are waiting – by themselves – by the car, for an extended period of the time.

In the summer, I finally got smart, and unlocked the car and sat inside sweating (and counted that toward exercise. Sweating = Exercise, right?).

I guess time to a woman is graded on the curve (of which I don’t know the percentage), or it’s a weird metric system time conversion. Not sure, just sayin’.

Yes, guys are slow to get going, but they never (to my knowledge) announce they are leaving, send a woman outside to wait, then suffer the consequences of making a woman wait. That is a pain you don’t want to endure.


Woman are late all the time. Hee hee, okay not all the time, but 99.999999999% of the time.

Guys are late, too, but when guys are late, there isn’t a Shakespearean saga story that is told when the woman finally arrives somewhere.

Leaving any get together (especially a party)-

Oh my god. This is the worst. See, we already discussed a woman’s difficulty articulating the correct time of leaving, it is 1000 times worse leaving a get together.

“Come on honey, we're leaving,” so again, the dumb guy that actually listens, stands up and waits by the door, or goes outside in the cold – waiting.

Women have about 100 rituals that they have to do to complete the whole leaving process;

1. Say goodbye to every single person in the house/restaurant/beach/wherever,

2. Each person she says good bye to has a deeply involved (long) discussion about something that they had ALL NIGHT to tell them, but no - they need to go over some story like a CSI investigator with the woman who is leaving (with a guy waiting outside),

3. Hugging and Kissing the ladies goodbye. Okay, maybe there is time for that.

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