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A funny story - The Four Way Stop #fb

The Four Way Stop
an original story by Jeff Roney


I think we all have good parts of us, and bad parts of us. When children are 2 years old, the good parts are still on layaway or something. Honestly, I think people try to be good, like at a 4-Way stop. When you pull up to see another car, your good side comes out, and motions that the other car can go. The other person looks back and smiles, and motions for you to go. You look back, quizzically, because this the other driver doesn't realize you are trying to score some extra points with God here. You motion again for the other car to go. The other driver motions for you to go. Well, now you feel silly.

I mean, you could have gone already, Mr. "Motioner" would have still sat there while you could have gone 10 times by now.

Then you pull out, and the other car pulls out at the same time.

You shake you head, as coolly as you can, without Mr. "Oblivious" not noticing. You summon as much inner strength as you can, and smile, and slowly motion him to go. He motions for you to go, and its like a cruel time machine has taken you back 10 minutes, but now you have to go pee 100 times more.

You pull out, and so does he at the same time. Only this time you both hit the breaks a little too hard and you hear squeals. For the first time in this standoff, a scowl begins to form on your mouth, and you notice a similar scowl on the other driver as well. You don't back up where you should be, and neither does he. It's a little like war, and you keep the ground you gained. You look up at him, and instead of a nice motion to go, you snappily point at him, then snappily point in the direction he should go. His scowl grows, and he repeats the same gesture to you. The gift of kindness is now re-wrapped in a command, and neither will do what the other driver is telling the other to do.

The scowling and not moving continues.

The two cars ease out, as if mirrorish reflections of each other.

Now the scowls include a nod, as if to say "Okay, doofus. You're not taking my "good happy face," then how about this. You hit your horn, and motion sternly for him to go. He honks twice, and does the same.

Just then, the Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile drives up to one of the other stops signs. I had never said the OMW Mobile up close.

It was like seeing a Unicorn, an honest lawyer, or the Edge (the guitarist from U2) without a hat or beanie on - this was an amazing event.

So, I stare for awhile, a hybrid car with 2 girls eating what looked like Tofu candy, pull up behind me and start honking at me.



That snapped me out of my 4 way fog. So, me and Mr. Motioner tell Weinee driver to go. He does and breaks down right in the middle of the street.

I mean right in the middle of the intersection.

I guess the wheel bearings went out, and smoke was billowing up from the middle, and it was an amazing site.

I was looking at a large Oscar Meyer Weiner in the middle of the intersection with smoke billowing up making it look like it was fresh out of the oven hot dog.

I tweeted the pick, then the Tofu twins really started getting upset and throwing pomegranate seeds at my car. I craned around the now non-mobile hot dog, and met Mr. Motioner's eye, and we realized that we didn't wanted to be weenies, too. We waved to each other, turned our cars around and went another way.

I learned alot that day.

Then I had to change my Twitter password twice, because the Tofu Twins hacked my account.

Let it go, girls. Let it go.

The End.


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The Difference between Men and Women #39 - Shoes

Men and Women view shoes very differently.

Generally, Men have around 4 pairs of shoes (not including specific sport shoes);

1. Dress/Work shoes,

2. Play shoes,

3. Shoes that look like they have been through the Apocalypse. These shoes once were great, but they look like the Alien (from the movie) and Cujo have fought over it for a year or two. When a guy wears them, you see more sock than shoe. Yes it smells, too. Suffice it to say, these shoes are worn for routine (which is never routine) home maintenance or Halloween (preferably if said male is going as a Hobo. A single Hobo.

4. Flip Flops. Normally the male can only find one of the Flip Flops. Where has the other one gone? Dunno. Maybe the place where "the other sock" goes. Anyway, he will never buy new Flip Flips, because the ones at home (You know, the pair that only one can be found. That pair.) are "broken in" and comfy. The scene unfolds on the day his girlfriend wanted to go to the beach. She tries to get him to buy new ones, he protests, she sigh, and the man to go into "Search the House" mode. She sits down and texts her friends her true feelings about him. In the end, the "other" Flip Flop is never found, but he did find;

his royal blue skinny tie he wore at that party that one time,

his signed MC Hammer poster,

2 and 1/3 Star Wars figures, and

a still unopened birthday card from his girlfriend (who still lives with him, until she saw the card (unopened). Yup, she left. You realize it took him an hour to call her begging for forgiveness, because he found his old Sega Genesis, too.).

Women and shoes almost have a fetish-like attraction to shoes. Not bashing, just saying. Look, men like to see them on a woman, too. Especially high-heels. However, if there was a law passed stating that women could only own 4 pairs of shoes, there would be anarchy, rioting in the streets, and Starbucks would be handed out for free (finally).

According to my secret sources, there are certain types of shoes;

1. Platform shoes. Either ladies want to be taller, or they want to feel like they are in the rock band, Kiss.,

2. Pumps/High Heels. A moment of silence and reverence for the Pump/High Heel shoe. Ladies, we know it may feel uncomfortable to wear them, but men everywhere Thank you (Heck, some of us may look at you, give you a quick smile and nod.), and a quick shout out to Meghan McCain for loving wearing them. Respect,

3. Slip ons. See, for the most part all guys shoes are slip-ons, but ladies have certain shoes for quick trips around the house, Walt Disney World, wherever.,

4. Tennis Shoe. Some ladies do, in fact play tennis in said Tennis Shoes, but actually these are casual shoes to shop for their fiance's wide-screen TV (Men can dream, right?),

5. Boot. Whether western or not, boots are kinda sexy. Just sayin',


Read more here: http://new.roneyzone.com/blogs/menaredumb/classic-madblog-women-and-shoes/


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Thanks

Hello. I wanted to poke my head in and say thanks.  I've been thrilled, touched and energized by the comments and all the cool people following the blog.  I'm a writer who was using podcasting ( RoneyZone Radio ( http://rzr.roneyzone.com )) to get my message out, but I missed out on so much by not blogging here. I'm so happy to be here amongst all you great people.

I am here to stay, and I promise that this blog will be funny, touching and a teeny bit geeky, but all good. I have big plans for this blog, so I would ask that you would tell your friends about it, and stick with it as it grows.

More fun and great stuff to come. I will be spotlighting great people (including my wife, ya'll), and maybe even a little geeky stuff. I want this blog to be something special, so here we go. :)

A Little Distraction - Practice Empathy #fb

Relationships are tough. It was that way since the beginning of time, and the same is still true now.

One of the reasons is that we are all different.

When we hear someone telling us something difficult they are going through, we usually think, "Well, I would do this, and things would be fine," but we aren't the other person.

It happens alot with disagreements, too. We think to ourselves, "I would never do that to someone else." True, you wouldn't but they might.


Empathy is moving our "self" filter that we see life through aside, and trying to understand where the other person may be coming from.


I admit, I am the worst person when it comes to putting my emotional response on hold, and trying to understand where the other person is coming from. Did I grow up with them? Did I have their parents? Their family? Did they have any issues along the way that may effect the way they deal with difficulties?

My wife got exasperated with my Male, "fix the problem" response to her issue, and told me to, "Just listen". I'm better than I used to, but I still react in my Male DNA way. However, empathy is more than listening - it is taking a step or two to understand where someone is coming from.

Do you have a friend/family/co-worker that seems to be constantly involved in the same issue or situation. It seems like they are on a racetrack life path that takes them around and around through the same situation. To me, you have two ways to deal with it;

1. Avoid them, or
2. Do the harder thing (Which, in my opinion is always the best), and empathize with them and their issue.

You can't change anyone, but I think if you empathize, that builds trust, and you could possibly have the opportunity to offer some steps to correct the looping path away from the issue. I'm not a professional counselor (I'm think you might not be either), but caring for someone and their issue can open up your heart and mind to offer caring advice from time to time. Love and empathy can help you help others.

All this is hard. Life itself is hard, but sometimes the hardest lessons are the most rewarding.

Practice empathy. Do your best to set aside the instant platitude, listen and be empathetic.

The world is full of people going through difficult times, and if you take some times to start to practice empathy, you could have the opportunity to release the pain of one person, and that could have a positive ripple effect.

I'll leave you with this. This has happened to me. Sometimes the people that you help with empathy, can turn around and help you in a future time. We are not on this planet to be on our own, we need each other.

Have a great week. Another little distraction coming next Monday. Tell a friend. :)


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Spotlight - Singer and more, Sara Kamin #fb

I virtually met the Canadian songtress and great lady, Sara Kamin through KellyG (you'll meet her soon), and her voice and coolness as a person blew me away. I asked her for a bloggerview, and she agreed. And now, I would like you to meet, Sara Kamin:

Your Name: Sara Kamin

Your Website(s): www.myspace.com/sarakamin or www.sarakamin.com

Sara, tell us a little about you: I'm a musician and a teacher. I study performance psychology and relational psychotherapy. I love music (especially Patty Griffin), my best friend, my parents, watching movies, eating ice cream and travelling (especially to the UK and Europe) more than anything in the world. When I grow up (oh wait, too late!) I want to be a relational psychotherapist working mostly with performing artists.

Hometown: Toronto

Where do you call home, now? Toronto (although I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland for two years and it too feels like home).

What is your purpose on this planet? To live the most authentic, genuine, creative, kind and fun-filled life I can.

Have you ever been on TV or Radio? If so, tell us about it: I'm on CBC Radio a lot - they play a lot of my music... I've also done various interviews on CFRB 1010... AND RONEYZONE! Don't think I've ever really been on TV though, no... isn't that a shame... wait... not YET!

What was the coolest day of your life? A tie. The day I found out I got into my MSc in Performance Psychology in Edinburgh and the CD release party for my third CD at Hugh's Room in Toronto.

Help a guy out. Dating Advice.

The best 3 things a guy can do on a date: Be open minded, listen well, be polite and respectful of EVERYONE (not just his date)

The worst 3 things a guy can do on a date: Be rude, talk too much, ignore you and look at other girls.

Your favorite male of all time: For different reasons, Colin Firth and one of my Professors from when I did my undergrad degree, Dean.

Least favorite male of all time: Can't pick one - bullies from my elementary school - they travel in packs, it seems.

If you wish guys would learn 3 things, what would they be? How to be respectful of others and our planet, that cars and sports are boring, that Nickelback is not a cool band.

Dumbest guy story: I went out for a movie and some beer/live music recently with a man I have had an on-again/off-again relationship/friendship with for the last two years. He proceeded to kiss me in the taxi on the way home, tell me that he loves me and feels closer to me than any woman in his life and then said (for the millionth time) he just wants us to be friends. I wrote a song about it - it's new and it's called Puppy Dog Eyes (apparently, he gets lost in mine!)

Sweetest guy story: When my Scottish ex-boyfriend and I had been together for about two weeks, he took me to the beach in Gullane, Scotland, we listened to Ocean Colour Scene (our mutual favourite band at the time) the whole way there, he bought me chocolate ice cream which we ate while walking along the shore, and he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. Then he took me back to his house and made me chicken fajitas.

What is one more thing you want the blog readers to know: That my music is EXCELLENT for getting over boys who have been mean to you. ;) 

If you want more, take a listen to her audio interview with me on my show, RoneyZone Radio: http://sarakamin.roneyzone.com 

FYI - she is currently setting up a tour around the world, so check her out live.

I'd like to thank Sara for her great bloggerview and invite you get to know Sara and her music much more, and let her know Jeff Roney sent you. Thanks.

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