Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Difference between Men and Women #39 - Shoes

Men and Women view shoes very differently.

Generally, Men have around 4 pairs of shoes (not including specific sport shoes);

1. Dress/Work shoes,

2. Play shoes,

3. Shoes that look like they have been through the Apocalypse. These shoes once were great, but they look like the Alien (from the movie) and Cujo have fought over it for a year or two. When a guy wears them, you see more sock than shoe. Yes it smells, too. Suffice it to say, these shoes are worn for routine (which is never routine) home maintenance or Halloween (preferably if said male is going as a Hobo. A single Hobo.

4. Flip Flops. Normally the male can only find one of the Flip Flops. Where has the other one gone? Dunno. Maybe the place where "the other sock" goes. Anyway, he will never buy new Flip Flips, because the ones at home (You know, the pair that only one can be found. That pair.) are "broken in" and comfy. The scene unfolds on the day his girlfriend wanted to go to the beach. She tries to get him to buy new ones, he protests, she sigh, and the man to go into "Search the House" mode. She sits down and texts her friends her true feelings about him. In the end, the "other" Flip Flop is never found, but he did find;

his royal blue skinny tie he wore at that party that one time,

his signed MC Hammer poster,

2 and 1/3 Star Wars figures, and

a still unopened birthday card from his girlfriend (who still lives with him, until she saw the card (unopened). Yup, she left. You realize it took him an hour to call her begging for forgiveness, because he found his old Sega Genesis, too.).

Women and shoes almost have a fetish-like attraction to shoes. Not bashing, just saying. Look, men like to see them on a woman, too. Especially high-heels. However, if there was a law passed stating that women could only own 4 pairs of shoes, there would be anarchy, rioting in the streets, and Starbucks would be handed out for free (finally).

According to my secret sources, there are certain types of shoes;

1. Platform shoes. Either ladies want to be taller, or they want to feel like they are in the rock band, Kiss.,

2. Pumps/High Heels. A moment of silence and reverence for the Pump/High Heel shoe. Ladies, we know it may feel uncomfortable to wear them, but men everywhere Thank you (Heck, some of us may look at you, give you a quick smile and nod.), and a quick shout out to Meghan McCain for loving wearing them. Respect,

3. Slip ons. See, for the most part all guys shoes are slip-ons, but ladies have certain shoes for quick trips around the house, Walt Disney World, wherever.,

4. Tennis Shoe. Some ladies do, in fact play tennis in said Tennis Shoes, but actually these are casual shoes to shop for their fiance's wide-screen TV (Men can dream, right?),

5. Boot. Whether western or not, boots are kinda sexy. Just sayin',

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Dee Stephens said...

My fuzzy slippers are rabbit reals.
They are my fav! :)

Matty said...

This sounds fairly accurate.

Kiera said...

well that. was. beautifully written. cept i dunno- jellies and crocs!? check your sources my friend ;)

Nancy said...

So why does my hubs have more shoes than me? So he can leave them wherever he sheds them for me to trip over. Is he sending a message?...or is he just a guy?
Interesting insight in this post!

Ellie Great said...

Thank you. Nice blog.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Loved it, shared it on FB and will link on my blog.

Annesphamily said...

I had monkey slippers that I did the Naked Monkey Dance in! But my kids found out! Oh goodness, perhaps that is why I had so many kids?! LOL!

Your post certainly made me smile! :)

Anonymous said...

You are so right. We do need all different kinds of shoes.

Visiting and following from Friday Follow, and so glad you joined in this week! Have a terrific weekend.

~ Lynn

Absolutely Positive said...

Well it is nice to get a man's perspective! Found ya thru Friday Follow. I'll be back to learn more about the differences between yawl and us! :-)


Sh@KiR@ CK said...

You are very brave.

I am now your follower from Friday Follow.Woo Hoo!!

Happy Saturday!



Veronica Lee said...

Following your cool blog on FF!

Have a great weekend!

Daenel said...

I love my fuzzy slippers and my fuzzy boots, but will rock a cage shoe with 4 in heels in a heartbeat. New follower from Friday Follow.

~SHANNON~ said...

Too funny!I found you through Friday Follow- except now it's Saturday! Do I still count? I'm your newest, shiny follower!

I hope you will come over to my blog and follow too! :)


Debbie said...

Funny :)

Thanks for visiting my blog, I'm glad you found me because I'm really enjoying your posts!

joeandbridge said...

Hi there! Just popping in from Friday Follow to be your newest follower. Hope you can come follow mine! Have a great weekend!

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins

Summer Rae said...

Hilarious! Thanks for following, and for giving me some entertaining stuff to read.

Simply Stacie said...

Following you from the Friday Follow!

JamericanSpice said...

I always love to hear/read things from a man's perspective.

I'm your new follower through follow Friday.

Enjoy the weekend!

Cher said...

Stopping by to say Hi and Happy Follow Friday! Now following you! Sorry it’s so late!
I have a whole bunch of giveaways going on if you wanted to check them out!

Visit Mama’s Money Savers

Anonymous said...

Found you on Friday Follow. I'm now a follower!

Nora said...

Thanks for adding my shoes to the feature,It is a great honor!

Jen said...

Hi Jeff! I'm following you from Friday Follow. I'm so glad you linked up. You're blog is so refreshing and funny. Have a great night!