Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Lies Women Tell

Don't get mad, just listen for a second.

Women say, "I just want a nice guy," but that's not really true. If that were true, geeks everywhere would be smiling for reasons beside buying a certain comic book or action figure.

Women don't want 'a nice guy,' even though they say that. They want a bad boy. They want a guy that cannot be caught or tamed. Oh, normally women say, "I just want a nice guy," after getting messed around by a not so nice guy. Just sayin'

Women say, "I just want an honest guy," but that's not really all the way true. True, lying is bad, but not telling the whole story on the first date leaves things to talk about on the second date, and so on, etc. Women want honest guys, but with mystery, too. That's where the perplexing part comes in. If a woman learns everything about a guy, the guy becomes boring, and then she begins to look around at the brooding, mysterious bad boy. Just sayin'

Women answer the question, 'What's wrong?' with "Nothing," and that is the biggest lie of all. There is something wrong, and they want the guy to figure out exactly what it is. Guys begin to play a digital tape of their life backwards to see what they did or said that was wrong. They begin to think about all the dates they have to remember (First date, first kiss, anniversary, etc), but to no avail - the guy is stuck with nothing. SO, now the interrogation begins;

"Honey, what's wrong?"
"I told you, nothing's wrong."
"Something is wrong. What is it?"
"No, nothing's wrong. Can we go to dinner now?"
"Where do you want to go to eat?"
"Aha! There is something wrong, because you NEVER have a place in mind to eat!"