Jeffinese

I graduated from grade school, high school and college (not some online thing. A real college with buildings and stuff). I didn't party much at all, but I did take Nyquil when I was sick. I say all that to say this - something is wrong with me.

Maybe its my hearing, or maybe its my brain, but something definitely is wrong with me.

I have come to call it - Jeffinese. It is a language unto itself. I create words that sound close to what they are supposed to be, but not exactly what they should be.

A few examples;

1. I said a lady had Post Mortum Possession, and she actually had Postpartum Depression. Not joking about the situation. I know it is serious, but it is an example of what I'm talking about. Again, I'm not joking about the situation,
2. I've called Jennifer, Jessica and vice versa. Sorry to all the Jessicas and Jennifers out there,
3. I called Joran Van Der Sloot, "Yonder Van Snoot",
4. I constantly can't remember certain names of actors in movies, and describe them as, "That girl in the TV show with the monkey who was a CPA".

Now, I picked the best wife (the 2nd time) in the world, because she translates Jeffinese perfectly (well, most times). Anyway, my wife is awesome.

I've not heard women do this much, but my cousin used to mangle lyrics all the time. For instance, ABBA's Fernando. She would mumble the lyrics to the verses softly (including some Spanish words here and there (like Taco, Tostada, etc), and then belt out loudly, "Fernando!" when it came up in the lyrics of the song.

So do you or your significant other mangle words like myself or my cousin does (Truth be told, she probably doesn't do it anymore) or did?

Come on, fess up. :)