Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Seat Saver

Saving seats at a theater. If a date couple or a group of males and females goes to a movie, there usually the moment where the small-bladdered female(s) have to empty them before the movie and ask, "Hey, could you save us some seats?" Normally (in my opinion) it falls to the guy, because we have bladder upgrades (or our bathrooms aren't as fun as female bathrooms), I guess.

So, do the lady or ladies leave sweaters or something for the guy to lay over the "saved" seats? Oh no, that would be too easy. So, the guy wants to sit there and stare into space and think about how to beat the level he is on that video game he is playing, Angelina Jolie's tatoos, or Christina Aguilera married a goofy looking guy, then maybe he has a chance with her, or Angelina - or both. He is startled from his perfect daydream by, "Hey buddy, are those seats saved?" "Yeah they are, sorry," and then he sees the smirky scowl of disgust from the guy and his girlfriend. It gets worse from there, everyone in the world wants those seats next to me. They thinks it's like a fun convention where they hide gift cards under the seats or something. Note: There was dried gum under the seats, no gift cards - I checked.

Too bad there isn't a sign you could bring that says, "Hi people that came to the theater later than I did. My girlfriend is in the bathroom, and she wanted me to save her and her goofy friends seats. I know there's nothing on the seats that would let you know that, and I know we have the greatest seat choosing skill in the world. I know you really, really want to sit next to us, too. I'm flattered really, but it just can't happen. You're going to have to schlep yourself up the stairs and sit next to the old people in the back row that will more than likely let a little tooter and cough to try and cover it up at multiple times in the movie. You'd better pick up one of those car fresheners and slip it under Ol' Tooties seat. You'll thank me later. Hey listen, I have an idea. Why don't I call you when I'm leaving for the movie theater next time, so you know it's time for you to leave, too? Better yet, if you will explain this to my girlfriend and her friends, who should be coming any moment, then yes, you can sit in these seats, but you're hot girlfriend sits next to me. How's that?"


Cheeseboy said...

Oh man, I get the saving seats for girlfriends in bathrooms, but I HATE when people save seats for their friends that have not arrived yet. That should be outlawed.

The theaters by us have almost all exclusively gone to reserved seating, which is seriously the BEST THING EVER! No worrying about getting there late or saving.

Treasures By Brenda said...

WOW, I didn't know that you could have a seat held for you in the theatre WASHROOM. Thanks, Cheeseboy for that tidbit.

On the subject of holding seats in the theatre itself, I always visit the theatre, choose seats and THEN go to the washroom. There never seems to be any problem with this arrangement and the men in my life.

Great post.

Treasures By Brenda said...

Thought I'd let you know that I've written a post based on yours...and linked back to your blog. Hope you approve.