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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Difference between Men and Women - The Wedding Part 1 #fb







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The Wedding Day

Men and Women view the wedding day very differently, and for different reasons.

Men in general, aren't totally sold with the whole idea, because they are mentally wired differently. They don't dream from a young age about what their wedding day will look like. They hope that they won't mess up the relationship with a woman that stays around, so they can get married. Men don't have endless conversations with their Fathers or friends like, "So Son, what color Tux will you be wearing to your wedding? If you could have the ceremony anywhere (including the Death Star) where would it be? How many groomsmen will you have? You won't pick Scooter for a groomsman, right? Because he put Deep heating Rub in your jock strap that one time."

It's not that men don't care about the wedding. They do, but they don't have any preparation or scope of the true meaning of it. To men, a wedding is;

1. Something they must, must, must be on time for,
2. Something they will wear shoes way too small for (because the shoes are rented (because he can't find 2 of the same "good shoes", and he also finds out that wearing flip flops to a wedding is almost blasphemous, even though he points out that everyone should be looking at our faces.), the the shoes are made for "thin people"),
3. Something they will have to wear a Tuxedo for. The only time a guy wears a tuxedo is for a wedding, funeral and if he is chosen for 'Dancing with the Stars'. I know it's a short list, because a tuxedo is an almost Straight Jacket,
4. Something they will have to talk to people that "remember him when he was 'this tall'," and he won't,
5. Something they will have to not stare at the bridesmaids or Maid of Honor, even though there was that Spring Break in Cabo, way before he met his soon to be wife (at least 2 days)...
6. Something he must not get totally blasted at the Bachelor Party the night before, but he does anyway,
7. Something he worries that someone must have had a digital video camera at said Bachelor Party and put the video of something crazy that happened on youtube. Even though he and his boys triple checked that there weren't any cameras (except that guy they threw in the pool. Turns out it was a waterproof camera). That's where some of the money from the reception "money dance" goes, into the "no upload video" blackmail account (his cousin's pocket),
8. Something he must not pass gas at, because there are lit candles close by,
9. Something he must make sure his voice inflection is strong and not pause (thinking about Bridesmaid #3, and the body shots he did with her at the St. Patrick's Day party, "by mistake") when he says, "I Do"

There are more, but we'll leave it there.

Women are prepared almost from the day they are born for the wedding. Their Moms and friends talk endlessly about it, and it is huge deal for them. This is more of an overview of the wedding, but there is much more (obviously).

15 comments:

Livia said...

Hey have you seen these color survey results? The men and women specific colors were hilarious. http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/

McVal said...

What?! Guys don't have meaningful talks with their fathers about tux colors? I'm so disillusioned now...

Pat Tillett said...

GREAT post! So so true.

I have only two words to say relative to weddings.

LAS VEGAS!!!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Makes me glad we skipped the whole ceremony hassle! Although a beach bum wedding would be fun.

Piedmont Writer said...

I think flip-flops are fine footwear for a wedding. As long as it's not January.

Debra Harris-Johnson said...

Hey Jeff thanks for stopping by and visiting "Dream Weaver". You are too funny. I skipped the wedding and just got married instead. It worked well, I've been married to the same guy 33 years.

Kathy said...

I must be more like a guy.
I had a very small wedding. No frills.

I was more interested in the honeymoon.

Just Breathe said...

I have an award and tag for you on my blog.

Amanda Borenstadt said...

LOL, I like the gas comment. :p

Hey, I tagged you on my blog.

MissV said...

Not sure how I found you, but I think this is hysterical, so I think I'm gonna make myself comfortable!

Julie Musil said...

Aha! Now I know what my husband was REALLY thinking on that day!

Dina said...

thanks for the follow, this was hysterical

S Farrell said...

Very funny! Thanks for the follow, definately follwoing you too!

Keetha Denise Broyles said...

You recently found and began following my blog.

Thank you so much - - - I cherish EVERY one of my followers.

Love your blog title, BTW - - - you must know my hubby.

shaboom said...

So I'm guessing she didn't make you write your own vows...