What a Dumb Guy Can Do in the Kitchen | The Instant Pot Incident

What can a Dumb Guy do in the kitchen? Plenty, especially a major Instant Pot incident. Sometimes I think I shouldn't be left alone at home and this was one of those times.

Dumb Guy in the Kitchen

The Instant Pot Incident

We had purchased an Instant Pot IP Duo60 (6 Qt) Electric Pressure Cooker (aff. link) a few months back, and it helped me to be more of a cook of the house. I know, crazy huh?

I remember the Instant Pot incident like it was yesterday. My wife was out shopping for something we missed on our weekend shopping trek, and I was going to make my ribs in the Instant Pot that she really likes. Things were going swimmingly; I had the ribs seasoned and had my liquid mixture in the Instant Pot ready to go. I rubbed my hands together (after washing them thoroughly) and plugged in the Instant Pot and - nothing.

No lights. No little chirp that it normally makes when its plugged in.

Nothing.

I got scared (like the time I put my coffee cup down on my wedding picture album and spilled a little coffee on it).

Did I break the Instant Pot?

Let me start with the outlet. I plugged the end into another outlet.

Still nothing.

What did I do to break the Instant Pot?

Desperate Times Demand Desperate Measures

I texted my wife. She's the smartest person I know. She's well traveled, well read and is a walking encyclopedia of useless (and some useful) information.

"Hi, Honey. I love you." I texted

"I love you, too. What's wrong?"

"Nothing really, I just realized that I needed to tell you that I love you more, so there's that."

"Ok, that's very sweet, but what's wrong. I know something's wrong."

"I think I broke the Instant Pot."

"Sigh. Really?"

"It doesn't light up and play the little song when I plug it in."

"Did you try another outlet?"

"Yes, I tried three. Even one that's behind the Microwave. Oh, by the way, I found my Star Wars cup back there."

"Nice, but the Instant Pot still isn't working?"

"No."

"I'm still shopping. I'll be home in a little while."

"Ok, I'm researching cooking the ribs in the oven now. See you in a little while."

I was really trying to take more of an active role of not only the; 

video game player, 

substitute bathing suit competition judge, and

the cook (who does stand up comedy), too, but if this Instant Pot incident doesn't get resolved soon, it would ruin my plans on the last role. 

I picked up the Instant Pot to move it to the kitchen island, and then I saw the problem -

the other end of the plug was NOT plugged into the Instant Pot.

The Moral of the Story

Never blame the makers of the great, awesome Instant Pot for the dumbness of a guy. Oh and don't text your wife, unless you really, really need to. The look on her face when I told her what happened was - priceless.

Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever had an incident like this? Leave a comment below and tell us about it.

The Men are Dumb Blog has moved.

Thanks for all the support. Please change your Favorite links to http://menaredumb.info

On the new site, there are videos, and as well as blog posts, etc.

Thanks again!

Back Scratching

Wait, its not what you think. See, when a couple is dating things like back scratching can go on for hours. It's great. A funny thing happens the more serious a relationship gets (especially when they get married) - back scratching get shorter and shorter. Something that went on for hours and hours before now only lasts a few minutes.

Women complain that their hand cramps up, or hurts. So, the guy takes her to the hand specialist and it turns out that it's facebook statusitis. Unless a woman is posting a snarky status, her hand has a time limit on the same activity. Eh, who knew?

Pretty much the same thing with guys, but with guys it's Videogameplayingitis.

Stop - uh!

Now, this may be a age thing for females, but I hear the word 'uh' after certain words, like 'stop' for instance. Colleen and I were at Costco, and I watched a brother pester a sister, and she yelled, "Stop - uh!"

Why is the 'uh' there?

I've also heard it after 'Mom,' too.

What is the 'uh' word added for?

Guys rarely us this, unless they are Italian or a televangelist.

---

Oh, while I have your attention, please tell at least one person (who have never been here) to visit Men are Dumb (I made this nifty url for you to share http://menaredumb.info), leave a comment that they visited and if they really like it click on the follow button on the friend connect box on the right. Thanks.

Highly Offensive Naval Video

Not Safe for Work. Many will find this video offensive. You have been warned.

Brett Favre.

Wow.

#brettfavre (CBS)  Brett Favre's football career may be over, but his legal troubles continue. The quarterback is being sued by two women -- massage therapists -- who claim they are victims of sexual harassment.

"Early Show" News Anchor Jeff Glor observed that, in the course of just a couple of weeks, Favre has seen his consecutive starts streak snapped, been fined by the National Football League, and had the lawsuit filed against him in New York State Supreme Court.

The suit is against both Favre and the New York Jets. It alleges that he sexually harassed the two massage therapists when he was the Jets' quarterback in 2008.

Read more of this story Here

Mean Girls, Meaner Women?

So, my wife and I had a spirited discussion about this. Now, I've seen Mean Girls:



and I spent time around females. Females in big and small groups, and I would say that most women talk behind each other's backs, after they've been nice to their face.

Now, the one issue that came up was age. I was told that the older a lady gets, the less these mean words said by Mean Girls decreases.My un-scientific research says no, and then I see things like this:



Men do it, too, but I haven't seen a movie called Mean Guys, yet.

So, what do you say? Do women say one thing to a woman's face, and another behind their back? My question is why? Most women say that men don't understand them, and if that's true, then why do women fight against other women (who should relate and understand them)?

Here is the book mentioned in the new report (aff link):

Change is coming - soon

Hi, I have done a number of dumb things in my life, and this may be one of the dumbest. I'm moving this blog.

Why?

My email address was compromised in the multi-site hack (lifehacker.com and others), and during that time my blogger blog was taken offline in the fray. As you can see it was restored, but I felt very uneasy with the who have control of my blog when something went wrong, and it wasn't me. I needed to change it, and here we go.

I have enjoyed Men are Dumb's original home here, because I found my blogging stride here, made great friends, and made people laugh. However, things must change.

The full website address: http://new.roneyzone.com

It is not finished, and I will be moving over posts during the next few days. I will be leaving this site up and the posts here as well, however when the change takes place, the final message will point to the new site.

Thanks again for your support.

Merry Christmas 2010 from Men are Dumb!

This is the funniest version of the 12 Days of Christmas ever. The scenario is a kindly old lady sings this Christmas classic and gets drunker and inserts drink names and much more as the song goes on. Enjoy and share this post. Thanks.



Thanks for your reading, comments and support. You all rock! Seriously, we wish you the best Christmas ever.

Christmas Family Get Togethers

So, it's Christmas time. Part of most family traditions is to get a group of people connected by DNA or marriage that have made distinctive choices not spend time around each other (Some have moved states away) for an entire year or so, and gather them all in the same room for an entire day (or weekend) to 'celebrate' Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, and family, but sometimes the combining of the two can be - crazy.

Some thoughts on what I've "heard" about;

Family members who tell the same story over and over again,

Family members who railroad a discussion about one topic into a story that "you all can relate to," but they can't,

Kids who translate "Don't touch," into "Touch everything you can get your hands on,"

Kids who already know what they're going to get, because they have told, emailed and Facebook reminded the entire family over and over, so the "surprise," of opening presents now becomes checking off a checklist in their mind,

The unspoken, "Who farted?" game,

The doggie "presents" left on Christmas day,

The kitty regurgitated "presents" shown (in front of everyone) on Christmas day,

If you are single, and bring a significant other, the kids start to ask, "So, are you having sex? Mom says you must be. What's it like?"

I could go on, what have you experienced?

The Fake Laugh

I'll be sitting at a restaurant, to see a movie or most anywhere (where there are women) and hear the most annoying, strange laughs, "Hee Hee Hee," "Haw Haw Haw," "Hoo Hoo Hoo - I Know! Hoo Hoo Hoo," "(Insert more fake laughs here)." Sometimes I hear those kinds of laughs from my family or friends, and I don't ever recall them ever laughing like that. Maybe the mall, restaurant, other outdoor place release Nitric Oxide in the air, or maybe it's the booze, or - I don't know what else.

I say we put people to a tickle test. When they least expect it, tickle them to see if they do an "outside, in front of their 'friends' laugh," during the tickle. If they do, cool. If not, fine them $20 bucks and make them promise to never do it again on a youtube video.

Guys do it, too. I've watched a Super Bowl game or two, but the Budweiser frogs, E Trade babies, Betty White in the Snickers commercial or whatever are funny, but not THAT funny.

Please Comment, Follow and Tell Your Friends

Remember, this video is free. If you paid for it, it would be better. ;)

Red Dead Redemption Review

Red Dead Redemption is probably the best videogame I've played in a long time. Sure, there's lots of horse riding, cattle herding and bronco busting, but it is awesome.

The story is fantastic, the visuals are phenomenal and they have the best  voice actors for any game ever. I thought John Marston was voice by Bill Paxton, but it was a newcomer, Rob Wiethoff.The rest are newcomers, but they are great!

There is a great add-on called Undead Nightmare which adds the zombie element, and isn't that what every game needs?

Now, if you are expecting a highly geeked out review, read the name of this blog again.

So, like I said, I loved the story of the very complex, John Marston.

He is introduced to the story nearly dead in a shootout at Fort Mercer but rescued by a feisty, cultured and cute farm gal, Bonnie McFarland.

Sure, I knew he was married but you can't deny the digital sparks flying off the screen when they were together. I kept waiting for a kiss - or something. Like I said, I've seen (Thanks to my wife) lots of romantic comedies, and I know the signs of a building romance - and there was one there.

Look, I have nothing against John's wife, Abigail Marston.

We all know she had a "troubled" past, and John married her to make an honest woman of her. However, I'm telling you, you play the game and tell me if there wasn't some kind of feelings between Bonnie McFarland and John Marston.

Remember how Bonnie drug her foot in the sand after she met Abigail for the first time? Play the game and see for yourself.

Oh, what if I was John Marston? I'm not, so we'll leave it at that.

Warning: There is some adult language, game violence, disturbing discussions and an adult 'romantic' (ahem) situation (but not with John and Bonnie) depicted, so this ain't for the kiddies.

Buy Red Dead Redemption today (aff link)

Engagement - For Guys

So, when a guys finds a woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he buys her a (very) expensive ring. So, what does a woman give the man she will spend the rest of her life with? Nothing. Zip. Nada.

Kinda not fair, is it? Nope.

Here's my idea.

We turn the tables on this "the Engagement Ring should be worth three paychecks" pricing idea, and introduce, "Bring a big screen TV to seal the deal" concept.

Oh yes, ladies. Expect a Hank's Big Screen Warehouse commercial directly after the ring store commercial that goes something like this, "Show your big love and devotion to the guy you say Yes, too with a big screen TV. We have row after row of LCD, plasma, and even 3d flat screen TVs to show you're guy you *really* mean it when you say yes. Nothing says, "I'll be your forever BFF with a big effen Big Screen for your man". Love is forever, and now love comes in HD at Hank's Big Screen warehouse!"

Since there are so many C's with an engagement ring, there are levels of commitment with the Big Screen TV;

Netflix account,
Game systems,
Sports TV packages,
Surround sound systems,
etc.

Bottom line ladies, the only reason he wants the big screen TV is to watch the wedding video over and over and over... Oh he won't say that, but he doesn't want to get all mushy on you. ;)

The Lies Women Tell

Don't get mad, just listen for a second.

Women say, "I just want a nice guy," but that's not really true. If that were true, geeks everywhere would be smiling for reasons beside buying a certain comic book or action figure.

Women don't want 'a nice guy,' even though they say that. They want a bad boy. They want a guy that cannot be caught or tamed. Oh, normally women say, "I just want a nice guy," after getting messed around by a not so nice guy. Just sayin'

Women say, "I just want an honest guy," but that's not really all the way true. True, lying is bad, but not telling the whole story on the first date leaves things to talk about on the second date, and so on, etc. Women want honest guys, but with mystery, too. That's where the perplexing part comes in. If a woman learns everything about a guy, the guy becomes boring, and then she begins to look around at the brooding, mysterious bad boy. Just sayin'

Women answer the question, 'What's wrong?' with "Nothing," and that is the biggest lie of all. There is something wrong, and they want the guy to figure out exactly what it is. Guys begin to play a digital tape of their life backwards to see what they did or said that was wrong. They begin to think about all the dates they have to remember (First date, first kiss, anniversary, etc), but to no avail - the guy is stuck with nothing. SO, now the interrogation begins;

"Honey, what's wrong?"
"I told you, nothing's wrong."
"Something is wrong. What is it?"
"No, nothing's wrong. Can we go to dinner now?"
"Where do you want to go to eat?"
"Outback."
"Aha! There is something wrong, because you NEVER have a place in mind to eat!"

Amazing!

Women love to say the word "Amazing," all the time. They even through in a pause in it, too. A-(pause)-mazing! They use it for clothes, a show they saw, hairstyle, food, pretty much anything. The only guy stuff that uses Amazing is...

The Amazing Race,
and Huell Howser (host of a California PBS show uses it constantly).

What do you think is amazing? This blog, perhaps? Why not tell a friend about visiting - http://menaredumb.info (This blog).

Thanks.

Telling a Story

I see this all the time. A couple sitting somewhere, and the wife tells the husband to tell a story. He starts, but never finishes. Amid the first section of the story, he hits a minor factoid that doesn't match the ladies' memory, and she pipes up and clarifies with 2 side stories about points that don't add anything to the story at all. She trudges on through the story she asked the guy to tell, and then he gets mad, and says, "I thought you wanted me to tell the story," "Well, go ahead, but tell it right," she responds and that's why couples podcasts are long and meandering. Don't believe me? I have names of shows to give you.

So ladies, do you let your man tell stories un-interrupted? Hmm? Do ya?

Guys, I'm right, right?

Guys? Hello?

Guys? Uh oh.

Vid - What if Gals Thought Like Guys?

Kinda NSFW

Walking Side By Side. I mean, really.

Have you ever seen a couple walking next to each other. I mean right-next-to-each other. That may work for some couples, but not me and my wife. Maybe it's because I'm curved on the sides, or maybe I'm hot blooded (not kidding. My body temp is pretty warm most times.), but for sure if we walked completely next to each other, I would trip and fall, I just know it. My wife and I take personal space and personal safety seriously (even though we are in love), and don't walk right next to each other. Heck, I've even seen couples clutching each other in a pseudo side embrace and walk next to each other. I hope they don't stay embraced when each other goes to the bathroom - gross.

List of things that are the same color going in and coming out

Warning: This may be too gross or unfunny for some, but I'm a guy (a dumb guy at that) with a sense of humor, and I think its funny.

Water,
Apple Juice,
Beer,
Wheat bread,
Chocolate,
Pudding,
What else?