Saturday, June 12, 2010

Star Wars Can Help Your Relationships

What Star Wars can Teach You About Dating

Was it a "long time ago" that you had a date? Do your relationships always turn into "the Clone Wars"? Do you new need "A New Hope"?

Hope has returned for you, my Padawan. "Search your feelings, you will know it to be true".

The blockbuster saga not only holds a fantastic story, characters and visual effects, but it also holds dating truths that would make Yoda say, "To this article you listen, yes".

So, without further adieu, "This is Red 5, I'm going in".

"Mudhole, Slimy, my Home This Is"

Guys (and maybe some ladies, too), clean up your place. Sure, bachelor pads may look like garbage mashers on the detention level, but if you want a lady to start coming around, clean it up. If you can use the Force to levitate the pizza boxes, beer cans and junk outside, be my guest, but the Living Force tells me you need to do it the old fashioned way. "Unlearn, what you have learned," and dust off the mop, broom and other cleaning items and go "Vader" on dirt and grime. Don't forget to "wax on, wax off" (oops, wrong trilogy), and as Palpatine would say, "Do not Hesitate. Show no Mercy," and get your pad looking as spiffy as R2 at the end of A New Hope.

"You truly Belong With Us Here in the Clouds"

Look Lando, don't be over "smooth". Ladies hate lines and can smell BS a mile away. Just be you. Well, if you are super geeky, that might not be a good thing. As I said, women have heard every line in the book, so be you. Words are cheap, but when "who you are" shows through, you may have a chance at finding your Princess with or without Cinnamon hair buns.

"Run, Luke Run"

There's no good reason to make a habit of running at the first sign of trouble. People are different, and sometimes they need time to wise up, grow up or own up to things. However, there is wisdom in knowing when to hold on vs. knowing when to "Let go, Luke," and "Run, Luke Run". No reward is worth a bad relationship with the wrong person. Pack up your things, and get out. You may feel lonely after, but its better than living with a person with the personality of a Rancor in or out of a pit.

"No, There is Another"

When the moment comes and you discover that the answer to "Do you think a princess and a guy like me" is no, don't wallow in bantha poodoo. Just get out of there, and know that, "There is an other another". Of course you should get out of there twice as fast if you discover that Princess you've been kissing is your sister, even if you are from the moon of Kentucky. Oh, and if I were Luke, I would've given Yoda and Obi Wan a swift kick somewhere for not fessing up earlier that Leia was his sister. It would have saved lots of difficult conversations that parents and their kids about love stories in the Star Wars saga.

"Would Somebody Get This Walking Carpet Out of My Way?"

Even though you think your are a Princess or whatever, be cool to guys, even if they have a lot of back hair - everywhere. I mean, maybe he could get the hair waxed, plucked or laser removed, and he might be a great Jedi Knight in the making. Even if he doesn't, you will move your hovel one day and you might need some help. You never know how good it will to have a "Walking Carpet" in your corner, moving your stuff, or behind the controls of your starship one day. Just sayin'

"Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them."

Guys, even though a lady doesn't meet your list of what a Princess should look like, give it a sit down at a local cantina. You never know how cool she could be, until you spend some time talking to her. Sometimes you need to change your point of view a bit, like Obi Wan taught you, too. Besides guy, have you looked in the mirror lately? Scruffy looking nerfherder is not the look most princesses are after, know what I'm sayin'?

"Mind what you have learned. Save you it can."

Look, no one is "Force"-ing you to take our advice, but get your single Jedi self out there and mingle. Take a chance and get out of the hovel once in awhile and get to know some people. If you can't dance like Oola, then maybe stop by a library (Jedi or not), or go to a race (Podraces are good, if you can find one). "Trust your Feelings," and get out there, but guys for heaven's sake, don't use 'sand' in a pick up line, and don't go to the dark side because you're afraid you will lose your Princess. If you do, you may end up looking like a scary Humpty Dumpty head behind a mask, and that's way worse looking than JarJar.

Note: I'd like to thank Mr. John Cosper (Writer (of all kinds) and very Creative dude) for helping me tweak this article a bit. Thanks, John. He will link this article to his parody dating site, Go check it out!


Shay said...

I loooooove this post! I'm a huge Star Wars nerd - and married lady! Definitely going to pass this along! :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Awesome tips for all the losers - I mean singles - out there!
Yes, some guys don't realize they live in a swamp.

middle child said...

One thing more, though I don't know Star Wars jargon,...Just be HONEST! Really, that's all I ask for. And that includes the hairy back thing. You're hairy? Don't [censored] shave or wax of whatever. Seriously, there are women out there that like their men to actually BE men. Kisses----

Daisygirl said...

haha, wait what? Seriously...well all I can say is may the force not be with ya! But I do agree...dude's clean your place before a date comes over an you will score!